I Did It
by Lilwazzabug
Summary: Dean has to deal with the hardest decision made of his life. My first fic.
1. Chapter 1

Dean drew his gun slowly, looking at is as he held it in his hands. He looked down at his brother's bloodstained face and clothing. A savagly murdered man lay in the corner of the room.

Do it, please." Tears streamed down Sam's face as he pleaded with his brother. Dean's chin trembled and he shook his head slowly

"Sam, please don't ask me to do this." Sam had handcuffed himself to the pipe of the heater and was kneeling on the floor of the hotel room; he pleaded again.

"Dean, you'll be next if you don't, please just get it over with." Dean felt like he could die right then and there as he looked upon his only brother. "Please," Sam tried to say but it only came out in a harsh whisper. Dean raised his gun and aimed it at Sam's forehead, his hand shook. Sam smiled a little and closed his eyes.

"Look at me," Dean said; tears rolled down his face. Sam opened his eyes and looked up at his brother. Dean's voice shook. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." The sentance ended in a sob and a gunshot went off.  
Dean sat up in bed screaming. The hotel room was dark except for a few moon rays coming through a slit in the curtain. Dean's entire body shook right down to it's very core. His heart raced and his breathing was heavy. Dean sat on the side of the bed and put his feet on the ground. He ran his hands through his hair and sat there looking at the ground. Dean had had nightmares about the night he killed his brother, ever since it happened months earlier.  
"_It should've been you_," he thought to himself. "_You did it...you killed him, and he's not coming back_."

Dean finally stood up, walked to the sink and splashed water on his face and neck. He looked up at himself in the mirror. Rage brewed inside Dean with every second that his reflection stared back at him. His image taunted him with remorse until his rage overcame him and he punched the mirror, breaking it. Dean walked away from the sink, pulling a piece of glass out of his knuckle as he went. He didn't care that his hand was bleeding. "_You deserve it._" Dean thought to himself. He pulled his old leather jacket off the hotel chair, gathered his things, and returned his room-key to the office. Dean started up the Impala and pulled out of the parking-lot, he didn't know where he was headed but didn't really care either. The clock on the radio read 2:17 A.M. Dean drove until sunrise when he pulled over at coffee shop in Kentucky. He took a seat by the window.

"Hi what can I get you?" asked an attractive brunette.

"Black coffee," said Dean not giving the waitress a second look. He looked out the window for a few minutes until the waitress brought him his coffee. Dean took a sip and stared at the empty seat across from him. "Sammy," someone called. Dean woke up from his stooper and looked around startled. A little boy ran by the table Dean was sitting at and back to his beckoning mother. Dean watched the little boy for a few seconds then looked away. He took out his cell-phone; hoping to find some distraction he scrolled through his stored numbers. Patricia, Polly, Rebecca, Sally, Sam...Dean's thumb hovered over the "Delete" button. Dean stared at the name; "_Sam_".

"Son of a b itch," he mumbled. He put the phone back in his pocket, took another sip of his coffee and stood up from the table. Dean tossed a "5" on the table and walked out of the cafe to his car. Dean started The Impala and headed towards the only place he thought he had any chance of feeling better at; The Roadhouse.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean started The Impala and headed towards the only place he thought he had any chance of feeling better at; The Roadhouse. A few hours later, Dean pulled into the dusty parking-lot of The Roadhouse and turned off the car. He recalled the first time he had ever seen the roadhouse; Sam had been with him. Dean got out of the car finally and walked into the old wooden building.

"Dean," Ellen greeted him as he shut the door.

"Hey Ellen." Dean took a seat at the bar.

"Can I get you something?"asked Ellen.

"A beer, please." Ellen nodded and took a mug from under the bar. She filled it and put it in front of Dean.

"How are you doing?" she asked. Dean pulled the mug closer to himself and looked at it for a minute.

"Got any jobs for me?" he asked. Ellen gave him a worried look. She walked across the bar and pulled a stack out from between a few liquor bottles.

"There are a few reports of some objects levitating off tables, some crop-circles, and one guy swears that his dog started talking to him in it's sleep." Dean paused from taking another drink and looked at Ellen for a few seconds. Ellen smiled a little, removed the last file from the stack and put the rest of the papers in front of Dean. Over the next hour, Dean had another beer and looked over the papers.

"You think any of them need looking into?" asked Ellen after awhile. Dean finished reading the last report and tossed it onto the untidy pile of papers in front of him.

"I don't know.." Dean ran his hand through his hair. "The crop-circles are too M. Night Shymalan and it ain't exactly unusual to see something float in mid air after a crazy Frat party." Ellen nodded.

"Sorry." she said, sadly. Dean took the last drink of beer from his glass and headed off to use the men's room. He walked past crowded tables of hunters sharing their stories with each other.

"Look what all I got off the son of a bitch." Dean heard a man say. He glanced at the table the man was sitting at, took a double-take and stopped dead in his tracks. Dean's heart raced and he made his way over to where the loud hunter was. Dean grabbed an artifact off the table.

"What the hell ar-." Dean interrupted the man.

"Where did you get this?" he asked forcefully. The hunter looked confused.

"Why do yo-"

"Where the hell did you get this?" demanded Dean, louder this time.

"I got it off a demon I excorcised, what's it to you?" asked the man. Dean didn't answer, he just walked away with the item he took from the table.

"Hey buddy!" the hunter stood up and grabbed at Dean's arm. Dean turned and punched the hunter, knocking him unconcious.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Ellen ran out from behind the bar.

"I can't explain right now." Dean took up his jacket, ignoring the stares from almost everybody in the place, and left the Roadhouse. He got into the Impala and sped out of the parking lot, leaving a cloud of dust behind him. "_You can fix this_." Dean thought to himself. He drove down the highway, with The Colt sitting on the seat next to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean kept looking down at the gun in the seat next to him. He hadn't seen The Colt in over a year and had given of all hope of finding it. A few miles down the road, Dean realized that he had forgotten to check something very important.

"Son of a bitch." Dean pulled over to the side of the road. He put the car in drive and took up The Colt in his hands. Dean slowly removed the nose of the gun from the handle, revealing the chamber. A single silver bullet remained, just as Dean had hoped. Dean let out a breathe he didn't realize he was holding. He reattached the gun together and placed it back on the passenger's seat. Dean pulled back on the road and tried to think about what to do next. His mind was racing and he couldn't concentrate, so he checked in to the first hotel he came across. Dean went to his assigned room and locked the door behind him. He paced around the room for a long time, thinking. Now that Dean had The Colt again, he had possibilities to consider.

"_I could hunt down that yellow-eyed son of a bitch and kill him_." Dean smiled bitterly at the thought of such sweet revenge.

"_If it weren't for that evil thing, Sam would still be alive_." Dean stopped pacing at this thought. A new thought came into his head.

"_Would that work?" _He thought to himself. Dean looked at The Colt lying on the bed. He ran his hand over his face; a glimpse of hope was appearing to him.

"_It's damn-well worth a shot_," Dean said to himself as he walked over to his jacket. He reached in the pocket and took out his cell-phone. Dean scrolled to the number he was looking for and pressed "Send". The phone rang a few times before anyone answered.

"Ash," Dean said into the phone. "Find every bit of information you can about summoning a demon, I'll be by later tonight." Dean hung up the phone before Ash had a chance to comply. He pulled out his father's journal and began leafing through it, trying to find any information that might aid him in his plan.

Dean dissected every single page of the journal, but found no indication of how to call a demon. Three hours later, Dean tossed the journal on the table in front of him. He leaned back in the uncomfortable hotel chair. Dean's mind wandered.

"_As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you_." He had said those words to Sam over a year ago. Dean recalled the night Sam asked him to make a promise and begged him to keep it. The look on Sam's face that night was the same look that Dean had seen the night he fulfilled that promise a few months earlier. Dean's phone rang, bringing him back to reality.

"Hello?"

"Dean, its Ash. I couldn't find very much about summoning demons, but I found some. What do you have planned anyway, man?"

"I wanna have a little talk with that yellow-eyed son of a bitch," said Dean.

"Cou-d- -ou- s-y- th-t –gain?'" The phone started cutting out.

"Hello? Ash?" Dean looked at his cell-phone. The lights in the hotel room started flickering and the wind outside blew mercilessly. Dean stood up quickly and grabbed The Colt.

"Guess I just couldn't wait for an invitation," said a voice behind him. Dean turned slowly to face the yellow-eyed man.


	4. Chapter 4

The demon gave Dean a smile that made his skin crawl.

"How ya doing, Dean? I must say, you are in a lot better condition than the last few times we've met." Dean ignored the comment.

"I need to talk to you," he said. The demon glanced down at the gun in Dean's hand and walked a few more paces into the hotel room.

"Well, I'm all ears. I see little Sammy isn't with you," he said smirking a. Dean's face contorted with anger and pain.

"I'd say you had something to do with that," he said angrily. The demon laughed.

"I didn't pull the trigger, did I?" Dean's rage increased.

"Why?" he demanded. "Why Sam, why not me?" The demon walked to the window.

"Oh Sam is just so much more interesting than you." He looked at Dean "Oh forgive me…was."

Dean raised The Colt and aimed it at the demon.

"You don't think I'll do it?" he said through clenched teeth. "You have taken _everything _from me!" Dean was yelling now. "What on earth do you think would stop me from wasting your sorry ass now?" The demon sneered.

"Not ON earth," he replied. "Sammy is stopping you; you want him back, that's why you were trying to summon me." Dean kept his face set even though he could not deny that the demon was right.

"You don't have the ability to do that," said Dean.

"Oh, sure I do," taunted the demon. "Why do you think you're alive right now and your daddy's dead?"

"Stop," said Dean quietly.

"We made a little deal, his life for yours."

"Stop!" Dean was louder this time, but the demon continued.

"You knew that though didn't you? In the back of your mind."

"Enough!" Dean yelled and he squeezed the trigger a little. The demon smiled.

"If you kill me, we can't make a deal." Dean's chest heaved and his form pulsed with anger. He stood for awhile, contemplating what had just been said.

"What type of deal?" he asked finally. The demon looked satisfied.

"I give Sam back his life and I never bother him again." Dean set his jaw and waited for the yellow-eyed man to continue.

"And all you have to give up is your life and spend eternity in hell; I know you've got tons of exorcised buddies down there." The demon sneered as he spoke. Dean had never felt so tired in his entire life. His knees felt like they would give if he tried to move and his mind felt like it could shut down any minute. Dean knew one thing though if he did this, Sam would have a long and eventually happy life. "_If it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna save you_." Dean's own words echoed through his mind and he realized how true they just might be.

"I wanna see him one more time," he demanded finally. The demon smiled a triumphant smile.

"Agreed. So do we have a deal?" Dean tightened his jaw.

"….Yes."


	5. Chapter 5

The demon's eyes blazed and he grinned.

"Like father, like son." Dean's face twitched, but he ignored the comment.

"Where's Sam?" he said quietly yet forcefully.

"Where you last saw him alive," replied the demon. Dean remembered the hotel in Tennessee.

"See you after the reunion," said the demon smirking, and he disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. Dean immdietely took up his belongings and went out to the Impala. His heart raced at a constant rate as he drove 30 over along the dark highway towards Tennessee. Dean's mind was astir with many different thoughts. He thought fo the deal he had just made. He though about what Sam's reaction would be to it. He mostly thought about the fact that he would see his beloved brother in just a few hours. This thought was the only one keeping Dean together at the moment. The past two months had been absolute torture for him. Seeing Sam again, if only for a few minutes, would put Dean's tired mind at ease. Hours later, Dean finally reached his destination in Tennessee. He pulled up to the hotel and parked in front of the room where Sam had died. Dean's heart raced as he picked the lock on the hotel room door. It unlocked finally and Dean opened the door quickly, stepping inside. His eyes searched the room until they fell upon a body lying on the floor in front of the heater. Dean ran over and knelt next to Sam.

"Sam!" he shook Sam. "Come on Sammy." He put his face by Sam's, he wasn't breathing. Dean closed his eyes.

"Please, God," he said, almost in a whisper. Dean took hold of Sam's jacket and shook him again, more fiercely and frantically this time.

"Sam!" he yelled. Sam's eyes flew open and he inhaled sharply; he began coughing. Dean helped Sam sit up and waited anxiously for him to speak. Sam looked up, still trying to catch his breathe. His expression went from confused to surprised and back again as he looked at Dean's face.

"Dean?" he said finally and breathlessly. Dean let out a deep breathe of relief. Sam looked around the room, recognizing it from before.

"How? I-what?" Sam stumbled over what to say. Dean shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. Are you ok?" Sam put his hand up to his forehead, half expecting to feel a bullet-hole.

"I'm fine." he said, surprised by his own answer. Dean put his hands under Sam's arms and helped him off the floor.

"Dean, what the hell is going on? I died." Dean just looked at Sam.

"I just want you to know..." he said, after a while. "I couldn't have asked for a better brother than you." Sam looked confused and worried.

"…You've always stood by me, even when I acted a little crazy, you went along with it. Hell you've even saved my a ss a few times," said Dean, smiling. Sam's eyes watered a little, he knew something wasn't right.

"You are scaring me man, what did you do?" Dean kept his gaze on Sam and said nothing.

"Aww, brothers reunited, how touching." Sam looked past Dean to see the yellow-eyed demon. Dean moved his gaze down to the floor. Sam realized that what he had only feared before was now being confirmed. He looked back at Dean, a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Dean, no." Dean looked back up at Sam. Sam firmly put his hands on Dean's shoulders.

"No!" he repeated through clenched teeth. Dean put his hands on Sam's arms.

"It's too late," he said quietly. Sam's chin shook with overwhelming emotion. He blinked a few tears and shook his head.

"Tick tock, Dean," said the demon. Sam glared at the yellow-eyed man.

"It'll be ok," said Dean, looking a little unconvinced of what he just said. Sam gripped Dean's shoulders tightly, unable to speak. Dean patted Sam's arms and slowly turned to face the demon. The demon sneered.

"Are you ready?" it asked. Dean nodded once in compliance. Sam felt powerless as he watched the back of his brother and the demon in front of him.

"Alright," said the demon, and he reached out to take Dean. A mere inch awau from Dean's face, the demon's hand stopped as if being held back by an invisible barrier. It looked confused and tried to reach out again. The yellow-eyed man looked at Dean's face; he was smirking

"Those selfless act of redemption can be a real bitch, huh." With that, Dean pulled out the colt, aimed it straight at the yellow-eyed demon and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit the demon in the head and pulsed electricity though it's body. Sam watched wide-eyed as the blue lightening bounced around the shadows of the room. Finally all was quiet, a pile of black ashes lay on the floor. Dean looked down at the pile on the floor for awhile. He turned to face his brother. Sam stood there, looking shocked and surprised. For the first time in a long time, Dean felt the forgotten feeling of peace. He grinned at his brother and twirled the retired Colt on his finger.

"Who'd have thought I'd turn out to be the religious one?" Dean walked over to Sam, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Ya ok there Sammy?" Sam looked at Dean.

"Dean, how did you know that would work." Dean shrugged.

"Giving my life for yours, a selfless act. Figured hey, it might work." Sam raised his eyebrows.

"And if it hadn't?" Dean stopped for a second. He looked up at Sam, smiling.

"Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me." Dean clapped Sam's shoulder and turned to walk away. Sam caught Dean's arm and pulled him back, putting his arms around him tightly. Dean was caught way off guard, but returned the hug more gladly than he would have liked to admit. After awhile, Sam finally drew away and put his hands on Dean's shoulders.

"Don't you EVER try to give your life for mine again," he said. Dean looked at Sam, seriously.

"Don't YOU ever give me another opportunity to try." Sam nodded and took his hands off Dean's shoulders.

"Let's get the hell out of here, man," said Dean. "I need a drink like there's no freakin tomorrow." Sam smiled and they both walked out to the Impala. Sam took in a deep breathe of the cool night air and looked around.

"What?" asked Dean. Sam looked across the car at him.

"How long has it been?" Dean clasped his hands on the top of the Impala.

"Two months." Sam looked surprised.

"Two months?" Dean nodded and got into the car. Sam sat in the passengers seat.

"How'd you uh, take that?" he asked quietly. Dean looked at Sam's concerned expression.

"Oh God, no more emo talk tonight. I think we're about to cross the BFF line." Sam laughed and nodded.

"I missed you too, man." Dean looked at Sam more seriously and nodded. He then started up the Impala and pulled out of the parking-lot. Sam smiled as he looked through the box of old cassette tapes that he had once made fun of. He chose a Blue Oyster Cult tape and put it in the player. The music sounded sweeter than anything Sam had ever heard before. He looked over at his brother, Sam couldn't recall the last time Dean looked as happy as he did now, then looked up at the clear, starry sky. Dean looked at Sam, he looked happy for the first time in a long time. Dean smiled to himself as they drove down the dark highway. Both boys still keep up with their job. Saving people, hunting things; the Winchester family business.

The End


End file.
